I have to COMPOSE A MOTIVATION STATEMENT FOR COLLEGE?

Hello! I have to write a motivation statement to apply to a college in australia, I’m applying to study Restaurant Management and I have this following paragraph. The problem is that I’m mexican and my vocabulary in englsih is a bit short, so I need help with the spelling and and vocabulary. It would be great if I can have this idea but written awsomely.

Since I was little I used to love food, I used to love the field trips because my mom used to give me for lunch whatever I asked. When I learned to use the VHS, I was around 7 years old, I used to watch and record TV food recepies and I asked my mom to teach me how to cook it. Older, in secondary, I loved organizing school events that matter for my class and all the parties, organize the food, the music and money we needed. Make 40 people party at home a make them feel very comfortable and have the right music and the right food at the right time. My life has been full of all this kind of events, like the one when my middle sister got married last year; she hired five ladies to organized the whole wedding and the music was playing for half an hour and everyone were bored it was a disaster; so, I went to the ladies organized them to start give them the treats we have for the people in the dance floor, I went to a friend I knew she knows the right music and ask her for a list, give it to the DJ, change the music and stand by myself in the dance floor with a song I knew my family loved and start doing the song’s popular step and suddenly after a minute 10 people were on the dance floor, after 5 minutes the dance floor were packed. After all that, I spend the night, with the ladies who were suppose to organize the party, organizing them, and I had the time of my life…
Uff thank u very much!!!! both are great and now I don’t know which one to pick

2 Comments

  1. Since I was little, I have loved food. (Unclear here – are you talking about field trips that your mother took you on with her?) My Mother would take me on field trips as a young girl, and we would go to lunches wherever I wanted. By age 7, I had learned to use the VCR to record TV cooking programs and was asking my Mom to help me cook the recipes. In secondary school, I enjoyed helping with school events: food, music, (decorations), and the money necessary. I have organized parties of up to 40 people at home, coordinating the music and making certain that the food was appropriate and ready at the expected times.
    (Why did your sister hire someone else – so you didn’t have to work on that special day?)

    I have the ability and desire to organize special events for the enjoyment of customers and participants. Someone once said that if you spend your life doing what you like, you’ll never work a day. I know what I want to do with my life and (name of school) will give me the education to help me achieve my dreams.

    Hope this helps.

    Go AZ
  2. As a young child I loved food – the varied flavours and surprises the colours and excitement of trying out new taste challenges.On field trips my mother would allow me to have whatever I wished for in my lunchbox. From seven years old I was watching and videoing TV cooking programs and I asked my mother to teach me to cook the recipes, presented. Once in secondary school I became the organiser of school social events, choosing the food music ambiance and staying in budget – I was dealing with numners of 40 plus and was able to make them feel comfortable and welcomed and manage the pacing of service.Since then I have steeped myself in this sort of social organisational management once rescuing my sisters wedding from disaster by noticing the boredom and getting the DJ to change his playlist and getting people on the dance floor by example and knowing what they really wanted.

    I am extremely interested and well versed in the management of social dynamics and getting people to enjoy themselves, whilst everything that can facilitate that goal is smoothly carried out. I have both energy and committment & I love this work and want to learn more.

    jac the hat

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